Children Will Learn What They Live

On the counsel of our Stake President we came home tonight and googled this poem.  I think I'll be hanging it in my kitchen.

CHILDREN LEARN WHAT THEY LIVE

Dorothy Law Nolte

If a child lives with criticism,
he learns to condemn.

If a child lives with hostility,
he learns to fight.

If a child lives with fear,
he learns to be apprehensive.

If a child lives with pity,
he learns to feel sorry for himself.

If a child lives with ridicule,
he learns to be shy.

If a child lives with jealousy,
he learns what envy is.

If a child lives with shame,
he learns to feel guilty.

If a child lives with encouragement,
he learns to be confident.

If a child lives with tolerance,
he learns to be patient.

If a child lives with praise,
he learns to be appreciative.

If a child lives with acceptance,
he learns to love.

If a child lives with approval,
he learns to like himself.

If a child lives with recognition,
he learns that it is good to have a goal.

If a child lives with sharing,
he learns about generosity.

If a child lives with honesty and fairness,
he learns what truth and justice are.

If a child lives with security,
he learns to have faith in himself and in those about him.

If a child lives with friendliness,
he learns that the world is a nice place in which to live.

If you live with serenity,
your child will live with peace of mind.

With what is your child living?
 

Dreaming

I've written a 30 before 30 list.  You know, a list of goals with a deadline (getting ever nearer!).  On that list is to write a children's book- not published- for my own children.  We read piles of books around here.  My favorites to read are by Bill Pete, Sandra Boynton, Shel Sylverstien, and Dr. Seuss.  They would make a dream-team if you ask me.  I hardly ever tire of them.  You know they're getting to you when you start dreaming in rhymes. Seriously.  But, oh! I'd love to write a book that children would LOVE to read! That would make them (and their parents) giggle and want to read another one!  There's not a point to this post other than to make my goal known so I have people to be accountable to.  Check.

So there. That's done.  I've said my fair share,

Now on to writing while there's still time to spare.

Let's get the brain going, start the cogs and the wheels,

... and perhaps polish up on my mad, rhyming skills.

Four

*Written Yesterday- to go along with our crazy night.

Now that you've seen what our crazy nights have been looking like, I need to tell you about our four year old.

This kid has an angelic streak. (And a stubborn one... but its much smaller.)

He has become the worlds best helper in the mornings.

Usually (3-4 times a week) he wakes up before me in a chipper mood.  LOVE IT.

Since he's been banned from coming up to wake up Mom until 7 (hopefully I'm up by then, but if not it was probably a bad night so leave me alone!),  he's taken up other activites.

These include but are not limited to:

Unloading the dishwasher. Side note: we've had to tape an arrow pointing to the clean "light."  He's not allowed to touch the dishwasher unless that light is on.  We've come down many-a-morning to a multitude of stacked dishes: all dirty. :D

Setting the table.

Getting everyone water (complete with straws).

Getting out cereal.

Pouring cereal. (Why don't I have photos of these?)

He occasionally will pull out ingredients he thinks I will need to make breakfast: vanilla, salt and pepper, cinnamon, bowls, and spoons to mix.

And this morning? He made toast. Eight pieces. Toaster setting: 2 (only gets them slightly warm- not fully toasted). 

Did you catch that? EIGHT pieces.  

Thank you son. 

 I'm glad everyone likes toast.

King discovered his helpfulness when he was preparing to walk out the door (I was still lying in bed in denial that morning had come so soon).  He came back upstairs to tell me what Guy was up to prefacing it with, "Don't be upset- he's a good boy and is trying to help."

 That is the beautiful part about it.  He's truly trying to be a big helper.  And he is!  What other four year old takes such an active part in serving his mother so early in the morning?  He is so kind to me!  King stayed a little later this morning to help him toast the bread properly and made us eggs to go with it.  (I have a wonderful husband!)  During breakfast, Guy noted my tired expression and jumped out of his seat and came and kissed my arm.  (He likes to kiss whatever body part of mine is closest to his mouth.  Sometimes its my arm, my shoulder, my knee, my leg.)  Not wanting to be outdone, Eddie jumped out of her seat and came and kissed my elbow.  I love it when he teaches kind things to his siblings!

 

He is a fairly patient boy and tries his hardest to mind.  This is a difficult thing at four.

(Especially when his sisters are doing their own thing!)

 

He has the biggest stick and rock obsession on the planet.  He wanted to include them in family photos.  We obliged for a few.

 

All in all, four is great.  He is a great learner, a great helper, and a great server.  I hope four goes this well for the rest of the children.

*In case you were wondering- I slept a full eight hours last night with NO ONE waking me up. Bliss.

Sleepy

This was supposed to be a post about the four year old- but it needs some preface, so bear with me.  The next post will be about him.
I'm a tad sleepy (and hence grumpy) grumpy today. 
You see, I have three children (obviously). They are old enough to sleep through the night.  And yet lately, they don't.  Case in point.  Last night.
11 pm: King and I finished watching Anne of Avonlea (which we started a few nights ago) and hence got to bed a tad late. Well, late for us! 
Come 11:45 Eddie starts to stir. "Please go back to sleep! Please go back to sleep!" I start to chant in my mind.  No use.  She starts to cry- which will soon wake up Millaker if I don't hurry.  She can't find her "siddy tup." Luckily, mom knows.  Now, PLEASE go back to sleep!
12:30 Millaker starts crying.  I stuff a pillow over my ears.  In five minutes she's asleep again.
1:30 ish (its getting blurry here): Eddie comes in.  "I want to sleep by you." No-sir-ee. Back to bed with you!
2:30 ish: Guy comes in.  "My mosquito bite itches." I hold him for a few minutes so he won't scratch it until it stops itching.  I fall asleep in the process.
2:50: I wake up again. Time to go to your own bed, kiddo.
4:30: Millaker wakes up.  No ammount of ignoring is helping.  This time I petition King.  "PLEASE! You get her a bottle! I need sleep!"  The kind husband blindly stumbles for the kitchen to make a bottle.
4:35: "Hon, what do you put on mosquito bites- Guy says he can't sleep." Ug. Lavender- above the fridge- wait, he's STILL UP?!
4:35.5: I'm already back to sleep.
6:15 My phone alarm rings. I turn it off.
6:30 The alarm clock by the bed rings.  I turn it off.
6:40 Eddie is up. She has to go potty.  Once done, I send her back to bed
6:45 She comes back in- she has to go potty again (this happens all the time!).
6:55 Though Eddie returned to her room, all she really managed to do was wake up Millaker.
7:04 King groans in resignation.  It's time to wake up. We lost the battle.  It might be a long day.

If this were a once-in-a-blue-moon scenario we might be ok.  Sadly, that's turning out to not be the case.  We (I) sat down and had a serious discussion with the kids this morning.  We are going to STAY in bed.  You can get out to go potty. Period. That's it. End of discussion. Mosquito bites are not good justification for waking half the household. Water will have to wait till morning (they have a sippy cup in their room so they can get a drink and go back to bed! If its empty by now- too bad!).  NO coming in to sleep with mom. The answer is NO!  Do you think any of this information sunk in?  I highly doubt it- its so hard to be consistent at night when you're only 1/3 awake and tired as all get-out.  Here's hoping tonight goes better!  In the mean-time- we're napping today!  (And the struggles with napping will be saved for a later post!)

Two

Two is a frightfully hard age for a Momma.  You see, two means own opinions, a stubborn sense of "do it my my self!",  a longing to help baby sister- though baby sister HATES the two-help.  

Two means a curiosity for all things moving and a love of bugs which often get smushed in fingers whether that was the intention or not.  Two means a glimmer in the eye one minute and a world-class glower and pout the next.  

Two is sucking fingers and twirling hair...endlessly.  Two means herculean efforts at bedtime to stay up longer.  Two means messes and dirt.  Lots of dirt. And sand.

Two is cheesy smiles when you pull out the camera (though four doesn't look much better). Two is wanting to be four and following four, and pestering four, and mimicking four, and hugging four.

  Two is reverting back to baby talk (and walk) when you are feeling silly or don't know how to cope with a situation. 

Maybe its because you are slightly jealous that everyone things ten months is so darling. 

(Cause she is!)

Two is helpful.  Two is being "BIG!" Big enough to help with morning and dish jobs.  Big enough to go potty by herself (unless she's tired or in a bad mood). Big enough to want "ake-up" like mommy (make-up). Not yet, Two!

Two is spontaneous smiles and waking up READY much earlier than either mom or dad.

Two is being genuinely happy about little things.  Two is liking dresses and pretty things.  Two is sweet hugs when Momma is sad.  Two is sweet hugs when ANYONE is sad.

Two is a one-sided sense of fairness mixed with an unexpected dose of sweetness and sharing (...sometimes).

 

Two is pigtails, sitting on Momma's lap, and stories. Lots and lots of stories.

Two is bare feet and dancing. 

Two is still wanting to snuggle when you first wake up.

Two is sweet.

Two is actually not so bad for Momma.  Two is great.

A is for Alchohol.

We're working on letters around here.  Guy has them down pat.  Eddie- not so much.  We've been singing the Leap Frog Alphabet Sounds song (who knows what it is REALLY called...).  Yesterday while prepping leftovers for dinner- aka tossing them into the microwave- we were singing this said song.  "The A says "aaah." The A says, "aaah." Every letter makes a sound, the A says, "aaah!""  The song continues- and would have- had Guy not interjected, "A is for.... Alchohol!" 
Me: What?
Guy: ah- ah- Alchohol! It starts with A!
Me: How did you think of that?! (We are a non-drinking family after all- aren't we?!)
Guy: King Noah was bad- so he probably drank alchohol!
Me: Um- I think it mentions something about that. Yes.  Moving on!  The B says "Buh!"...

You never know what they will say!

Speaking of which.
Eddie is proudly 95% potty trained.  This excludes nights which are touch and go- and right before bedtime when she mysteriously and miraculously HAS to go potty seven or eight times before she can actually fall asleep... grrrrr...
Some days she is the classic TWO and wants NO help.  Fine by me!
Other days she is the most dependent person on the planet and NEEDS help!
Yesterday she called me in the bathroom. "I NEED YOU HELP!"  So I came.
"Oh, do you want some help? I'll help you."
"Thanks, Mommy! You such a good helper!" All said in the exact tone I use with her with I'm trying to encourage good behavior.  Did that have a hidden meaning?

And since we're on the subject of bathrooms- can anyone tell me why babies (toddlers, kids) have SUCH a fixation with bathrooms?!  The SECOND that door opens Millaker makes a bee-line for the bathroom!  She just HAS to be in there.  The tub- the toilet- everything is fascinating!  This morning I was helping a soaking wet Emma (she was in the tub when she pronounced she just HAD to go!) sit on the potty.  I was busy focusing on keeping the two year old wrapped in a towel from falling in the toilet when Millaker rushes in and puts HER hands behind her sister RIGHT into the toilet! EEEEWW! GROSS!! MILL!!  Why can't her room hold such a sway over her attention?!

Politics

I am not the most politically informed or minded person.  I'm just not.  I care, I try to be aware, but I get the feeling I'm always miles behind what is really going on.  That needs to change.
Now, I happen to be a registered Republican since I think their platform aligns the closest to my values and what is important to me, but I am not against Democrats in general.  I know, am related to, and like many Democrats.  Big deal.  I see nothing wrong with voting across party lines.  We should be voting ideals and principles after all, not Party based plans. My husband is KING at this policy of voting based on principles and ideas.  He (proudly) is NOT registered with either party. 
Last night, the most politically savvy of my siblings and I were chatting. (He's one of my main sources of keeping up-to-date on political happenings!) He mentioned how the Democratic Platform had removed all references of God from its wording.

...THEY WHAT?!

It was shocking to me.
Have we as a country come that far?  How can we forget, or neglect to give God credit for upholding and preserving our liberty, for helping us become who we are,for inspiring the founding fathers to create a system of government unique, and powerful in its structure and its liberties?  Do they forget they are presenting a platform for Democrats EVERYWHERE and not just themselves.  If they feel fine taking references to God out, they do- but that is NOT a reflection of every Democrat's beliefs!  I watched an interview where the Senate Whip was questioned about this and he seemed to sidestep answering and instead became furious that the question was even asked.  I am not saying Democrats are not God-fearing people.  I know too many for that to be true and I know sweeping generalizations hurt more than help.  ... but how could they do that?!  And why isn't there more of a stir?
I decided to read some things for myself.
I looked up the Democrat and Republican Platforms for this election.
They're loooong.
Someone in one of the interviews called them the biggest produced, unread political documents.  I believe it.  I didn't read the whole thing.   But a few things DID catch my eye.

The first:
The Republican Platform stated in the Preamble that it sees the Constitution as sacred.  That's a big word.
As in: regarded with reverence
          devoted or dedicated to a deity or to some religious purpose
          consecrated
          entitled to veneration or religious respect by association with divinity or divine things
          holy.
I think they hit it square on.  
I believe the Constitution WAS, IS an inspired document.  Not inspired by man, by God.

Second:
Another quote from the Republican Preamble states,  ""The propitious smiles of Heaven can never be expected on a nation that disregards the eternal rules of order and right which Heaven itself has ordained."  Values matter.  Character counts."
True Again.

Do I think Democrats have it all wrong? No.  Do I think they were wrong to take God out of their Preamble? Yes.  Do I think they had a RIGHT to remove God? No- they don't just represent the committee of writers, they ought to be representing all who claim to be Democratic.  Am I pleased as punch that right off the bat the Republicans referenced God and the sacred responsibility we have to uphold His will? Absolutely. 
I did read through the agendas of both Parties.  Both have well-stated, good intentions.  Both want the economy to recover.  Both want jobs for families.  Both want America to be great.  Good goals.  But how can I know that what is represented is the view I want- the WAY they'll go about achieving these goals is what is in line with my values?  Are a few committee writers expressing their points of view, or what the party believes in as a whole?  Is the Democratic party really trying to pull away from Christian values in order to appeal to a bigger/more modern audience?  Is the Republican party going to uphold its promises and stick to its stated values?  
In defense of Mitt: I think He will.  I am placing my trust in a man who seems to have an upstanding moral character and some budgeting skills to boot.  The word frugal should not be a four-letter word.  DEBT is.  If we can have a family of five on a tight (as in we watch what we spend and plan carefully) budget and still manage to save, have no debt other than a mortgage- why on EARTH can't the federal government do something similar?!  I'm showing my ignorance here- I realize that.  
I want to see a President who reflects my values.  Whether or not Mitt was Mormon would not change how I voted if he lived the principles and values he has today.  Being a Mormon is just a bonus in my opinion.  I like the what Piers Morgan said, "Criticize Romney all you like but he doesn't drink, smoke, take drugs or womanize. And he has a delightful wife and devoted children."  Well said.  I want to see someone with a track record that doesn't include drinking or drugs of any kind.  A record that shows faithfulness to God, to his family, to his children.  I'd like to see restraint.  Self-governing.  Thoughtful, quiet service to others.  
Oh, politics.  I don't like you.  I DO- I mean, I love the freedoms I enjoy. But I wish things weren't so argumentative and hateful sounding at every turn.  Compromise.  Work together.  Be honest. Set goals.  Stop taking bribes or creating gridlocks.  Step up and be a leader by example.  I could go on.  Both parties are guilty. Not all individuals, but certainly both parties.
I digress. Or ramble. Or both.
I hope Mitt wins.

...Interesting development...
Just as I was wrapping up I flipped to CNN.  Apparently the Democratic party has changed its mind and is adding (ONE) reference to God and stating that (oh, yeah) Jerusalem should remain the capital of Israel.  
I'm glad.  
There were some glaring problems, and they fixed them.  Good.
But I still wish neither of those issues- especially the reference to Deity- weren't an afterthought.  I KNOW this country has many God-fearing people- and they need to be represented (and heard) despite which party they vote for.

Once, a long time ago, a man of God and a leader of his people (Moroni) saw a change happening.  A man came to his people using cunning and flattering words which deceived many.  That man led the people to forget their God and do that which they KNEW was wrong.  When Moroni saw this he tore his coat and upon it wrote one of my favorite patriotic, God-fearing messages to inspire his people to change their hearts and defend what mattered most.  I quote,
"In memory of our God, our religion, and freedom, and our peace, our wives, and our children..."  -Alma 46:12, Book of Mormon.

God. Freedom. Families.  That is what counts.

How I hope this Presidential Election- no matter the outcome- leads people to remember what matters most.  Not to spend time squabbling or being distracted and mislead by flattering and cunning words.
I'll be praying.

Hobos

I just counted.  In the last month and a half I have been home a total of 15 days. I'm not complaining.  I've loved it- but it's been more draining than I initially thought it would be.
If you take a broader scope, I had one sister here for six weeks (meaning half my time is spent an hour away visiting), another here for about that same amount- same visiting included, a sixteen day trip to Thailand, a six day trip to Montana, and I'm SURE I'm missing other things. 
I've had two friends remark, "Do you live here?" 
Maybe, maybe not.  But tonight all I can think is, "It sure is good to be HOME."
I can't wait for Guy's preschool to start in a week- it marks an era of stability.  Friends, I'm back!

What Guy Eats:

Binkis

Paper

Straws
SOME baby foods
Dirt
Hands
Shoulders
Clothing
Shoes.
The last few are currently undocumented, but pictures forthcoming.

*I found this under drafts.  A bit outdated, but fun to reminisce.  Maybe I should document what my other two love to chew on.

Grateful Meanderings

I have no aspirations of ever becoming a well-known blogger and/or writer.  My all-time record of thirteen (yes, 1-3) views in one day is evidence enough of that.  If that qualifies me for being an under-achiever- so be it.  However, to the bakers dozen who DO happen to listen in to my inner-rantings, I need to share with you some thoughts. I need to be accountable to someone- if not many- to share my gratitude and show that I will do something, SOMETHING, to better myself and others because of it.
Now that I've lost you, I'll continue.
You see- I've recently discovered something.

My life is near perfect.


Wow. THAT'S a discovery.
There were glimpses of that reality from time to time- moments when I saw just how lucky, and how blessed I REALLY was.  But the fallable human me let those slide.  I forgot.  I fell into what we Utah-Mormons call the Paper-clip-pride-cycle.  Once upon a time- and over and over again since then- the Lord blessed those who followed him.  They were grateful.  They were obedient.  The Lord blessed them more.  This cycle continued until one day the people forgot to be grateful.  The stopped spiraling the inner-paper-clip-circle and headed off the end.  They lost sight of how blessed they were and they ceased to acknowledge God in all their blessings.  They got prideful.  They started thinking they didn't have enough, weren't enough, weren't as good as Mr. Jones next door, and didn't they deserve to have at least as much as he did?!  See where they messed up?  I'm just as guilty.  My neighbor may not have the last name of Jones and I might not see many things and think, "Gee! I want that!"  But I'm not so innocent either.  My life has been so blessed throughout- that I forgot how blessed I truly was.  I didn't know how good I'd had it.

And then I took a trip.
And I started thinking.
And tonight I listened to two cousins share their recent experiences in Jordan and China and reflected on how similar their impressions were to mine. 
And I knew I'd better write this down.

So here is a far-from-comprehensive list of what blessings I have recently overlooked but I am OH, so grateful for. I don't have time to list the experiences that triggered all of these- but know in some cases there were many instances and they were very memorable.

• I am grateful for clean, running water. That tastes good.
• I am grateful for a nice, well-built, multi-roomed, fenced-yarded, air-conditioned, heated home.  With a normal toilet. And running water. And windows.  That feels safe.  And has WONDERFUL friends and neighbors ALL around it.
• I am grateful for clean, good food.
• I am grateful for a whole, functioning body.
• I am grateful I can bear children, that I HAVE children, and that my children are, overall, VERY healthy, very kind, and have every comfort imaginable.
• I am thankful for an education- the basics: such as the ability to read and write, and for the complex: the chance I had to go to college, CHOOSE a field to study, and have no opposition to my choice, my right to education, or my talent. 
• I am grateful for the education experiences available to my children.   Even with them being too young for public education we have internet programs, the library, joy-school, a public preschool and endless resources on the computer!
• I am grateful for technology.  How I'd MISS my family without the convenience of emails, texting, calling and instantly having a conversation no matter the miles between us, video chats, conference calls, etc.  The internet is a miracle I can't quite get my brain around.
• I am grateful for a working, heated/air-conditioned car that SAFELY gets my family around (in a timely manner I should add!).
• I am grateful for my religion and the freedom it offers me.  I met some AMAZING people on our trip. I also saw how trapped some were by their addictions.  Though some might find it restrictive to limit alcohol, drugs, tobacco etc and I'm sure many more thought our married status- with kids!!- was far from normal... I became so grateful to be WHO I was and WHAT I was.  Mormon. Mom. Me.  (Hey- my new mantra!).  I was grateful to have "limited" myself by choosing to live a different lifestyle.  I felt so much free-er.  I was proud (hopefully not in the wrong way) of who I'd become thus far, and still inspired to further internalize who I wanted to be.  I learned a LOT from the people we met in Thailand and hope I keep in touch with a few.  I hope to become more like them in so many ways.  And I hope I can stay being ME while doing so.

My sister said it so perfectly.  We have the perfect life and we don't even realize it.
But I'm starting to.  And I'm going to try my darndest to help my kids see it.  And to try and be grateful and to be worth those many. many. blessings. 
Don't let me forget.