Blogs

Tonight we've been watching our old neighbor's kids.  We love them, and I seriously miss living in their backyard and coming over anytime, day or night.  But back to the thought at hand.  King Drake is currently in the living room, being a good babysitter, and is playing board games with a 12 year old, a 10 year old, and a... 6? 7? year old.  I am being the bad babysitter and have been sitting at their computer (not to worry, its in the same room, I'm not completely shameless) reading various blogs.  It wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't been reading for almost an hour.  The only conclusion I've come to after this last hour is... I can't blog.  I once thought of myself as a decent writer.  In fact, going back to some of my old school papers, I consider myself brilliant.  (I never was very humble.)  But now I realize, those fantastic papers took thought, EDITING, and time.  And now, I don't even know what those three words mean.  Sure, I still THINK about posts, but not deeply.  I just write the quickest thoughts down and hurry on with my life.  And yet... am I really that busy?  Not really.  StoneMason keeps me on my toes, sure, but so much that I've given up thinking... now I just sound pathetic.  Now before you wonder what the real purpose of this post is (and if I even BRIEFLY thought about this one), I have set a new goal for myself.  Actually, I've set two.  1.  I will take time to think deeply about things again- and not just posts.  I will stop and think about my little boy, about my life, about things going on around me, instead of just giving them a passing glance and then moving on.     On a sidenote:  This was also brought on as I read a relative's blog.  I heard that they recently separated and was shocked, I had no idea anything was wrong, and by reading and looking at pictures no one would have known.  And I thought to myself, is my life as distant as their news was to me?  Am I really aware of my own life, or do I let things sneak up or slip by unnoticed.  I don't want to wake up surprised one day finding my life has moved on without any conscious thought.  Ok, enough.  If that didn't make sense, don't worry about it.  Goal two:  I will keep a better record (blogging or journaling) of my family.  Since I've never been a great journaler (with the exception of about two years during college) I can AT LEAST keep a brief, historical record (with pictures too!).  That is the least I can do for my children.  I have been feeling guilty that I haven't dutifully kept a daily journal for me, or for Mason, but I'm going to stop beating myself up over it.  I'll do my best in my journal and in his, those can be my "small plates" with significant meaning and memories.  This blog is now my "large plates" with new and improved deeper thinking... but mostly a record for my children.  I'm taking a leaf out of another old neighbor's book and am considering making a book out of the blog each year as the family "scrapbook."  Because lets be honest, it would look better than my normal scrapbooking.  

So, here it goes.  Here's for better blogging.  Perhaps none of you will be inspired by our brief recordings like I am by some of yours, but it will improve, and it will mean something to me.  And hopefully, to someone else.