Trying to document frustration without whining...

PART ONE: THE CUTE PICTURE AND THE FRUSTRATION


This is my honey. (In the newspaper to boot! Isn't he cute?!)
He's been VERY, VERY, very, very, very, very, very, very.... I could go on... VERY, VERY busy lately. For months he's been attending public hearings/meetings around the state and at the capital working on this redistricting project at work. Now before anyone mad at the process jumps down his throat, he doesn't make any actual decisions regarding the maps- just draws them for the Legislature. Many, many late nights and weekends of work later... his wife has been counting down to the special session they were supposed to be finishing YESTERDAY.
And then...
...they couldn't agree on a map.
AAAARRRRGGGGG!
Lawmakers hemmed and hawed and did the democratic process (which I am usually a huge fan of) and postponed making a final decision for two more weeks. And this very pregnant wife cried. (note: I may or may not be extra emotional right now.) You have to understand. I in no way hold King accountable for the extra long hours he has to put in at work right now. He's got the know how for this big job and it has to get done. And since they're putting in all this time- they need to make sure its done right!!! But it would sure make me happy if the ones making decisions would HURRY UP AND MAKE UP THEIR MINDS!
Back to the story.
I attended my cousins wedding today and each time someone asked me where my hubby was my eyes welled up with tears and I started crying. I'm not a crier either! You see- with a little over four weeks to go in this pregnancy, I was hoping said baby would come two weeks early (like the previous two). But with pending big meetings in two weeks, baby may come- but we wouldn't have had the down time, rest time, family time I've been SO counting on (for MONTHS) BEFORE the baby comes. I know, I know. We'll get family time after, and its wishful thinking on my part planning that the baby will come early- who knows when she's really coming. And who knows. Maybe this project will be done, agreed on, and tied with a bow with a few days of rest to spare before she comes... but what if its not? What if I go into labor in the middle of a big meeting. I KNOW King will still be there for the birth, he'll still get time off after... but will we all be so tired that we're emotional wrecks- or is that just me these days?
I was telling all this to my dear grandmother this evening as she chucked at my tears (again) and my predicament with trying to be a patient parent. That second topic alone could take several posts of its own. Remind me to tell you about placing phone calls to King at work- knowing he's outrageously busy- to have him talk to his son (or daughter) before the tired mother loses ALL her temper with 3-year-old antics (or 1 year old as the case may be). Tangent- sorry.
Anyhow. After the chucking- which she says she can do because she's been there- she told me I needed to write this down in my journal, and this is as close as it gets to journaling these days. She said that even though I was frustrated, one day I could look back and laugh knowing how real the frustration, the pain, and the tears were- but one day I'd be able to see past it and laugh - hopefully. Maybe she was chucking at how pathetic and narrow minded I sound. I've thrown myself a sufficiently huge pity party by now.
So here's hoping she's right. I'll let you know if I laughed 20 years from now.

PART TWO: NO WHINING... except for what was already expressed...

While 3/4 of my brain has been stewing over the predicament above all day. A tiny part has been reminding myself that I am blessed. Very, very blessed. I'm working on a project right now to help me remember to count my blessings. It looks like a birthday calendar- a line for each day of the month/year, but its to record the best part of my days- the tender mercies and blessings I overlook on hard days like today. And since there's no time to start like the present, here's today's.
1) I got to go to a wonderful marriage today. I love going to Temple Sealings. I love thinking about the day I was married and how lucky I am to have King.
2) King has a job. And a good one. And a steady one. And he's earning TONS of comp. time with all the extra work he's doing. He informed me tonight he has 50 hours of work in for this week.... its only WEDNESDAY folks. I guess this means lots of time off when the baby comes and during the holidays- which will be wonderful.
3) This baby is healthy and coming soon. Maybe not as soon as I'd like- but soon. I can do this... I can do this...
4) My parents have been a big help this week. We've stayed at their place instead of traveling back and forth for wedding events- and they sure have been great with the kids. Helping change diapers, make meals, play with them.... its been good, no great.
5) I always feel better (mentally) after I sleep. And I'm going to sleep now- which is a really, really nice thought.